Congratulations to the president for winning the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, as recognition of his many tangible accomplishments in bringing the world to the state it is in today.
I would also like to offer my thanks for being named the 2009 Heisman Trophy winner. Like the president, I am humbled by this award and do not feel I deserve it. But I will accept it, and the money.
And to all you haters out there, if you don't like it, you're with the terrorists.