President Obama has inspired me to undertake a new business venture. As we know, the president has alerted us to the terrible scandal of doctors amputating diabetic feet for profit. Each foot chop gets the physician reimbursed anywhere from $30,000 to $50,000.
I see a market opportunity here. Beginning now, I will amputate any foot for only $15,000. That’s right, half the going rate. But I’m not doing this just for the money. Who will stand with me to fight back against the propaganda of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons, the American College of Surgeons, and the California Medical Association – all of whom are merely paid stooges regurgitating the talking points of Big Amputators.
Let me cut off your feet. Don’t let those bastards get them. Show those fat cat doctors we are on to their schemes. Lift your stumps high and wave them in solidarity with the President as he exposes the foot stealers and the tonsil harvesters.
Repeat business is welcome.